Talking to myself.

Yea, Its been a while since the last time I posted anything. Probably because it seems like nobody is reading my posts and I'm just kinda talking to myself. Oh well... hahahaha.

Lent was good, and I admit I hit a few bumpy spots, but I pushed through.

I found some really cool podcasts on iTunes. I cant remember any of them off the top of my head but I will post them later on.

And I found a really cool band: The City Harmonic. They are AWESOME!! Google 'em...Now! hahahaha.

Lent

Lent is coming up! Yay! hahahaha. I'm pumped.

Dc. M has giving me a task to concentrate on during lent.

"Since Lent begins next week, I want you put aside your concern for the next 8 years, and to focus only on the 40 days of Lent to prepare yourself through prayer, fasting, abstinence, and good works to bring you one step closer to God.  I want you to think of two objectives:  1. a “minimum” effort that you know you can do for 40 days that is not too easy, and not too hard.  2. a set of stretch goals that you want to do, but may be difficult to sustain for 40 days.  It’s OK to miss your stretch goals; think of them as “extra credit”.  But your “minimum” effort should be your “norm” that you must do for 40 days.  Please be realistic and consider all the other duties you normally would be required to do in addition to your “minimum” Lenten effort.

Let me know what you decide to do." 

I came up with some things but I'm going to wait and see what he says before I post them. 

Walk by Faith.

Sorry that there hasn't been any new post lately. I've been kinda lazy. Hahaha.

At this point I'm struggling with this whole "walk by Faith" thing that my Spiritual Director(Dc. M) and I conversed about over E-mail. Dc. M's words:

When the freshness of the experience wears off, then we must walk by faith.

Translation:  We sometimes experience awesome moments when God touches us in a profound way that empowers us to commit our lives to Him; but we become forgetful or discouraged when cares, worries, and realities of daily life cause us to stumble and lose heart.  It is in those darker moments when we must believe in the promises God has in store for us; we must remain steadfast in our prayers, and trust that God will guide us towards our true vocation and our true joy.  

If you have time, read the parable of the sower in Mk 4:3-20, Lk 8:5:15, and Mt 13:3-23.  Mark, Luke, and Matthew each have a slightly different version of the same story.  Luke 8:15 says “But as for the seed that fell on rich soil, they are the ones who, when they have heard the word, embrace it with a generous and good heart, and bear fruit through perseverance.” (NAB).  It’s worth noting the last word is “perseverance”.  To bear good fruit that will last, you must persevere, stick to it, stay the course, “walk by faith”.  Always remember that you are never alone on your journey; you have your guardian angel who will always assist you (IAW God’s will), your patron saints who will intercede on your behalf, the communion of saints who are praying for you, and the saintly examples from the past 2000 years of men and women who faced similar struggles and conquered them by embracing their crosses.

In Jn 14:12, Jesus says “Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes in me will do the works that I do, and will do greater ones than these, because I am going to the Father.”

 “… for the one (Jesus) who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” (1^st Jn 4:4).

Jesus will guide you if you trust in Him.

It is also important to seek out spiritual guides to help us along the way, as Jesus sent His disciples out “two by two”.

Spiritual Director. Pt. 2

Dc. M has accepted my request. It is a happy day.

I'm off on a trip to Vermont in a little bit, so there wont be any new posts until Sunday or Monday. :)

Spiritual Director.

Dc. M returned me E-mail about me dilemma. He offered some great advice: 

"Often, when we come down from our “mountain top” experiences with God, we are faced with our human realities that can cause us to experience doubt.

Don’t worry too much about your second thoughts.  God allows our faith to be tested when he is calling us to great things.  We must learn to master our thoughts and our passions and direct them to God, because your temptations and doubts will increase as you fulfill God’s call.

Just remember to pray the rosary every day, and consecrate yourself to Mary.  Place yourself under her care, just as Jesus entrusted himself to Mary and Joseph in the Holy Family.

Also, cultivate and strengthen your love for the Holy Eucharist, because Jesus in the Holy Eucharist will be your source of strength and inspiration, especially for priests.

Lastly, remember to be patient with God, and with yourself.  God knows your future and wants the best for you. He knows what you need, and when you need it.  Parts of your journey will feel slow, while other parts will fly by. St John Vianney, Patron Saint of Priests, had a long and difficult road to the priesthood. Dealing with doubts and temptations is part of your journey and a testing of your humble submission to God in all aspects of your life, wherever He leads you. To keep you heart pure along your journey, you should go to confession monthly.  You need God’s grace in this sacrament to see and hear God clearly."

In my response to him I officially asked him if he would be my spiritual director, as I do not have one yet. (Even though he has pretty much acted as one for me. hahaha) 

Well that's all for now. Maybe more tomorrow if I get a response from Fr. J.

And for some reason I cant get this back to the normal color and stuff. Oh well.

He pulled through!!

Well after posting that last post, I posted the "dilemma" as a new topic in the Vocations forum on Phatmass. I then prayed a rosary. I then prayed some more. I then went back on Phatmass, and saw all the things people had posted and they all truly helped me. I no longer have those doubts, and have materiel to refer to when I get those doubts. And I also found out that this is something that a LOT of people discerning deal with.

I put that material as a link: Lafayette Carmelites 

God is Good!!

Obstacles

Well, like all things in life, there are obstacles in my discernment. I feel that one of the biggest obstacles is figuring out exactly where God wants me. Though I think about this a lot, I feel that God will answer that question later on, when it is important.

But one HUGE obstacle I am trying to get by is whether God truly IS calling me. I get paranoid about different little things and what I think are signs. I sometimes don't know where to turn and since, I am so excited about priesthood, I get down whenever these thoughts enter my head. It could be I'm over thinking it, It could be Satan trying to mess me up, It could be anything. You guys are probably thinking, "pray, pray, and pray." Well I have been. Ugh. I think maybe I'll send Dc. M and Fr. J an e-mail about this. They could help.