Veni, Creator Spiritus

     Today we had our first main snowfall of the year. It has inspired me to reflect on the beauty of God's creation. I chose this title, "Veni, Creator Spritus" because it embodies the immense beauty of creation. And because it is Latin, which is awesome; Latin for "the Creator Spirit".

Scripture and Tradition never cease to teach and celebrate this fundamental truth: "The world was made for the glory of God." St. Bonaventure explains that God created all things "not to increase his glory, but to show it forth and to communicate it", for God has no other reason for creating than his love and goodness: "Creatures came into existence when the key of love opened his hand." -- From the Catechism of The Catholic Church, article 293

     I have always wondered why people can be so capitulated by the beauty of nature. Why is it, that a simple mountain landscape or a "winter wonderland" is enough to inspire goose bumps and awe? Because that's what the Holy Spirit does. He gives us chills, to tell us that He is there. He awes us with beauty. He is "Veni Creator Spiritus" and He is God. This sense of beauty is fundamental proof of the existence of an Omnipotent Creator of the universe.

     All art is a reflection of the artist who created it. It says something about who the artist is. Nature is beautiful, and therefore, our God is beautiful.

     I also think that it is important to realize that unlike a human artist, God created everything out of nothing.

"If God had drawn the world from pre-existent matter, what would be so extraordinary in that? A human artisan makes from a given material whatever he wants, while God shows His power by starting from nothing to make all He wants." -- St. Theophilus of Antioch

If God can create something from nothing, than He can turn a sinners heart into a saint's. The power of God's mercy is endless, as is the beauty of His creations. For it is by Him that we are created, and it is by His Son on the cross, that our life is endless and eternal, so long as we follow Him.

Pax Christi.

Ave Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis.

     I know that I haven't posted anything new in a long time, so bear with me as I try to make up for it in this one super awesome blog post. Hahahahahaha

      The Devil has been working overtime in an attempt to lead me away from God. I've been getting a lot of doubts recently. For some reason, I have been getting the idea lately that my I have been wrong about being called to the priesthood, and that I am called to become a politician so that I may "change the world for the sake of Christ." Like I said, bear with me….

     I have also realized this: It is very hard to discern weather a thought is from God or Satan, and that if we get to scrupulous about this, it can also begin to drive us away from God. We have all heard the saying "to Jesus through Mary" right? Well, I realized the other night, whilst praying the rosary, that if I begin all of my scriptural reflections and all of my prayers for discernment with a special prayer to Mary, then she will do her best to make sure the Devil shuts up.

     Take note of where Mary's "staff" is. The Devil cant lie if he's too busy being defeated by Mary. I still feel deeply called to the Priesthood, regardless, of what Satan tries to say. Now that the devil is out of the way, I can concentrate more on what God is trying to say.

My letter to Congress and to my local reprisenatives and senators concerning the Protection of Conscience Rights in Health Care.

My name is Jonathan Pirillo. I am a junior in High school. I am a Roman Catholic. I am Pro-Life.

I do not think that it is right to mandate that a medical institution with a religious foundation should be forced to offer "Pro-Choice" services. It is an obvious and blatant violation of our rights stated in the First Amendment of the Constitution on the United States of America. 300 years ago, when freedom of religion was only extended to protestants and puritans, this type of action might have been excused. But we live in the year 2011. I have a phone that does 2000 things all at once, yet our country cannot seem to wake up to the brutality and barbarianism of abortion. We've already been torn apart once over civil rights, and I hate to see it happening over the right to life.

I have heard it said that this law does not matter to religious facilities with a predominant population of faculty members and patients who are all of the same religious morals and beliefs. This makes absolutely no sense. As Christians we are all called to reach out to those in need, especially those who are not of the same beliefs as us. What do you expect us to say? "Mr. Jenkins, since you are an atheist we can no longer treat you for you chronic and highly lethal disease."? That isn't right, and we wont stand for it.

I thank you for your time in considering this matter. Know of my prayers for you, and know of God's love for you. May he bless you abundantly in all that you do.

Sincerely,
Jonathan Pirillo

"The Morals of Our Youth"

This is a recent essay that I was assigned for my Sociology class. It was to be a reflection of the topics that we have been discussing in class. Here is is:

The Morals of Our Youth

    In a recent study, the renowned sociologist, Christian Smith, interviewed a large number of young adults about how they feel about certain moral issues. Along with his colleagues, Smith was surprised that most had no idea on how they would deal with certain moral issues. Honestly, this doesn’t surprise me one bit. Most of today’s youth probably don’t even know what the word “moral” means, let alone know how to feel about them.

     They may have morals, but I feel that they can sometimes be misguided because of where they originate from. Most youth, that I know, have morals based off of “how they feel”, because they have no “moral framework” from which to base their morals. The article states “Many were quick to talk about their moral feelings but hesitant to link to a shared moral framework. As one put it, “I mean, I guess what makes something right is how I feel about it. But different people feel different ways.” I very much disagree with the ideas behind this statement; the ideas of moral relativism. These ideas would work, in a perfect world; alas one in which we do not live.

     If we do not have a moral framework, than how could our morals be very “moral”? What ensures that these morals are what is right? I would argue that there is absolutely nothing that insures the morality of these “self-felt” morals. Joseph Ratzinger, or later known as Pope Benedict XVI once stated that “We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as for certain and which has as its highest goal one’s own ego and one’s own desires.” I feel that if we fall into this “dictatorship” then we will become selfish, and when has selfishness ever benefited any society? If we all only cared about ourselves, then we would cease to exist. If the Founding Fathers only cared about their own selves, would they have put themselves through the struggle to establish this nation?    

     “Nothing is as it seems.” People might try and think that the world is perfect, but it isn’t. On the outside, the U.S. has looked like paradise to those living in third world countries. But when one looks deeper into our society and sees all the moral dilemmas that we face, then, they would put up with poverty and drought for the sake of not being associated with a nation that thinks its right to kill babies. And so here comes the topic of abortion. (Didn’t you see it coming?). Some feel that women have the right to decide whether or not they should keep their unborn child. They ‘assume’ that because a baby is still in the womb, then it is not ‘life’ yet. But on the other hand, science has proven that life does, in fact, begin at conception. It might be the woman’s right to have an abortion, but does that make it ‘right’? If the government handed out guns to everyone and said “it’s your right to go and kill five people for no reason” does that make it ‘right’? Murder is murder, and without a moral framework to define for us what is truly right, then, morals cannot exist.

     Right now, our country is in a period of immense moral crisis. Although, I am only human and I could be very wrong. You never can truly know, because “things are not what they seem”.

A vocation is love. Love is patient. This is the first thing I learned in my own discernment. To be patient.

"Seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened to you." This is second thing I have learned in my discernment.

And the third thing....well that's just it, I don't know yet. I don't know. Perhaps that is the third thing? Learning to be okay with not knowing? Well perhaps I'll never know. And oddly, I'm okay with that.

I do know that I have grown a lot since my first "re-conversion", though at first it didn’t seem like it. I realize now that there is actually no such thing as having only one conversion. Sure, there is the initial one, but then there are more, deeper conversions that happen later on. Each one is a new milestone in our walk with Christ. Each one brings us closer and closer to becoming the person that God made us to be.

Each one is a new step in our discernment. After all, isn't that what we are discerning in the first place? Not just where He wants us to be, but who He wants us to be. How are we supposed to fit in the "square slot" that He has pre-destined for us, if we are still in the shape of a triangle?

"Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect" Romans 12:2

The world tells us that we must be a triangle. It tells us that its no good to be a square. But if we are not a square, then what good is knowing where the slot is, if we wont fit in it? God wouldn’t torture us with that predicament.

In this short verse  from St Paul's letter to the Romans, he tells us that, in order to discern the will of God, what is "good and pleasing and perfect", we must first become transformed. Transformed by the renewal of our minds, the renewal of our hearts. But if we conform ourselves to "this world", if we do what the world tells us to do, then we cannot discern. God won't let us. He doesn’t want us to feel the rejection of not fitting into the slot that He has made for us.

But if we listen to Him, if we transform ourselves into who He made us to be, that "square", then is when we can fully carry out His holy and true will.

In the name of the Father + and of the Son + and of the Holy Spirit +. Amen.

Pax Christi.

From an article I read this morning. Courtesy:Catholic News Sevice.

VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- Cradle Catholics haven't done enough to show people that God exists and can bring true fulfillment to everyone, Pope Benedict XVI told a group of his former students.

"We, who have been able to know (Christ) since our youth, may we ask forgiveness because we bring so little of the light of his face to people; so little certainty comes from us that he exists, he's present and he is the greatness that everyone is waiting for," the pope said.

The pope presided at a Mass Aug. 28 in Castel Gandolfo, south of Rome, during his annual meeting with students who did their doctorates with him when he was a professor in Germany.

Austrian Cardinal Christoph Schonborn of Vienna, a regular participant in the Ratzinger Schulerkreis (Ratzinger student circle), gave the homily at the Mass, but the pope made remarks at the beginning of the liturgy.

The Vatican released the text of the pope's remarks Aug. 29.

Pope Benedict highlighted the day's reading in Psalm 63 in which the soul thirsts for God "in a land parched, lifeless and without water.

He asked God to show himself to today's world, which is marked by God's absence and where "the land of souls is arid and dry, and people still don't know where the living water comes from."

May God let people who are searching for water elsewhere know that the only thing that will quench their thirst is God himself and that he would never let "people's lives, their thirst for that which is great, for fulfillment, drown and suffocate in the ephemeral," the pope told his former students.

However, it also is up to Christians to make God known to the world, the pope said, and older generations may not have done their best.

"We want to ask (God) to forgive us, that he renew us with the living water of his spirit and that he helps us to celebrate properly the sacred mysteries," he said.

The formal discussions of the "schulerkreis" this year focused on the new evangelization.

The closed-door seminar was held Aug. 25-28 in the papal residence of Castel Gandolfo and was attended by 40 people, reported L'Osservatore Romano, the Vatican newspaper.

The pope chose two speakers to give lectures: Hanna-Barbara Gerl-Falkovitz, a female German theologian and professor, and Otto Neubauer, director of the Emmanuel Community's academy for evangelization in Vienna.

The lectures were followed by discussion among the participants, including the pope.

Summarizing the discussions for L'Osservatore Romano Aug. 27, Cardinal Schonborn said participants felt that recent World Youth Day events in Madrid represented a fresh "boost of renewed hope" for the church.

He said older generations have suffered by first living their faith at a time when church life was thriving, and today they are watching parishes lose so many parishioners.

But, today's young Catholics seem to realize they are a minority in a secular, relativistic world and have shown their "undaunted willingness to give witness to their peers in such an environment," he said.

Seminar participants saw the so-called "John Paul II and Benedict XVI generations" as a whole new phase for the church. No one thought young Catholics would be so open to being in "the courtyard of the Gentiles" to evangelize, said the cardinal.

He said the meeting also reflected on how to spread the Gospel in a secular world that nonetheless "shows that it is waiting to receive anew the Gospel message."

Be Not Afraid.

Be not afraid. That’s what John Paul II tells us as Catholic Youth. This picture is of a dear friend of mine, who is exactly that, "not afraid".

Its hard to "be not afraid". We're afraid of what people will say, what they will think, and how we will look if we told them that we are a disciple of Jesus Christ.

We barley hesitate to profess love for an athlete, or a singer. "Oh I love that band!" or " Yea, man, A-Rod is a BEAST." We fight for our favorite baseball team as if life depended on it. Even though the Yankees do stink...just sayin'... 

Why cant we stand up for our faith with as much enthusiasm?

Why? Why should we be afraid of professing a faith in something that is so much greater than any athlete or musician? Because we are human.  

But my brother in this picture, he takes Jesus on the field with him, and he doesn’t care what people would think or say. And if someone says something about it, or maybe dislikes him for it, than SO WHAT. Fifteen hundred years ago, a man could lose his life for wearing such a symbol. He would be crucified, and his children would be fed to lions. Yet we are afraid of a little ridicule.

I know I'm guilty of it. How many times have I denied Christ? Many, but God knows my heart, He knows that I try to be strong. My resolution for this upcoming school year is to follow JP II's advice, and be not afraid. I want to proclaim my love for Christ to all, so that word may get around school that I am a Christian, and willing to live up to such a label. I will take pride in my faith, and be a disciple of Jesus Christ. 

"Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in Heaven. Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
-- Matthew 5:11&12

My Late Great Uncle.

    Well, a few weeks ago, a very good man passed away. My great Uncle "JJ". He was really a great man, faithful Catholic, and was a good role model too me throughout my life. He was known as many things; dad, grandpa, brother, uncle, husband and 'Doc'.

   He once told me a story, about when he was younger and there was a priest that he was really close with at our parish. Now, my Uncle was an avid fisherman, and one day he had invited the priest to go fishing with him. Well, they go fishing, and they catch quite a few fish. After, this priest said to him
   "I must confess, I did a very bad thing coming here to fish with you today."
   "How?", asked my uncle.
   "Well," says the priest, "I was supposed to give Mass this morning…"

   You see, this priest had given up Mass, to go fishing with my uncle. And if that isn't a great testimony to how great of a man my uncle was, then I don’t know what is. 

   My uncle also once told me about a great way to look at confession, especially penance.  He told me a story of once, when he was little, asking a priest about penance.  Here's what the priest said:
   
   "You got a white fence at home? Every time you commit a sin, go home and put a little black nail in your fence. And after about a month when you next go to confession, make a good confession, and confess all those sins. And then go home, and pull all those nails out. Now what do you got? You got a bunch of holes, and now you have to fill them in with good stuff."

Anima eius et animae omnium fidelium defunctorum per Dei misericordiam requiescant in pace.
May his soul and the souls of all the departed faithful by God's mercy rest in peace

Pax Christi.

"My Spirit is Strong, But My Flesh Is Weak,"

Well, like any other teenage male, I struggle with certain "temptations". And I have been struggling with them for quite a while.  It is a "thorn in my side" as I like to call it. But unlike St. Paul, God didn’t give me the same response to my prayers. It is purely my own impurity that causes me to fall into temptation.

When I was younger, and first discovered such "pleasures" I thought they were pretty great. And I continued to indulge in them.  It was like I got on a train. A train that was leading me farther and farther from Christ. Once I realized that it was a sin, and that I should stop, it was too late, and I couldn’t. I was addicted. 

So I turned to the only thing that promised to bring me back to Christ, The Sacraments. I started to go to Confession, and confessed it over and over again. In 2 Corinthians, when Paul mentions his "thorn" he also says "For when I am weak, then I am strong." Just lately have I realized truly what this means.

I realized that in the sacrament of Reconciliation, we go to the priest when we are at our weakest, When we are sad, shameful, and desperate. But when the priest, acting in persona Christi- as the person of Christ-absolves us in the name of our God, he gives us strength. The strength to carry our cross.

He also gives us Grace. "For only my grace is sufficient for you."

I realize now, after reading over what I had just typed, God has answered my prayers in the same way that He answered Paul's, I just hadn't realized it. Wow. 

 "Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weakness, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me." ------ 2 Corinthians  12:7-9 

Pax Christi.            

The Grace of Altar Serving.

Altar serving...Oh how I love it so!

I feel that altar serving is one of the greatest tools of discernment. Because when one is assisting the priest in something that only the priest can do, its like getting an "exclusive pass" to the greatest prayer ever. Personally, I feel that God bestows certain graces on me while I am altar serving, graces that really strengthen His call.

When I am not serving, I am always watching the servers, and sometimes get a little too distracted. And I always long to be serving when I am not. Its like an addiction-an addiction to the grace of service. And the cassock. Definitely an addiction to wearing a cassock....hahahahaha.

Just today, I altar served for my Great Uncle's funeral Mass. He was a great man, and will be truly missed. He gave me some great advice, advice I might share in another post. But altar serving for his Mass, it wasn't done for me, it was done for him. He was proud that I want to be a priest, and it was just one more thing done to honor him. Of course, one of the greatest moments was when all of his grandchildren went and placed roses on his casket. He loved them so much!

And after Mass, all everyone said to me was "great job" and it was difficult to be humble. I just kept saying "it was for him, he was really proud.".

And in that grace of service, God really spoke to me. Seeing how much Fr. Paul---oh I forgot! Fr. Paul, by the way is our new Pastor. Can't believe I haven't wrote about him yet! I'll have to do another post....

Back to what I had been saying: Seeing how much Fr. Paul was able to console the family, and seeing how fruitful his service was to them, it was beautiful. To truly be a shepherd to people, even in the darkness of death...its such a humbling thing. Ive struggled with grief, and conquered it, but I know of people who haven't. And I want to help them.


Sorry, I got a bit off topic, but...whatever. hahahaha. Anyways, altar serving rocks, and so does wearing a cassock. And so does my new Pastor, whom I'll talk about in another post. Pax Christi.

LEAD!

Well, first off, I have plenty of things that I will be posting about in the future, but I'm going to take my time with it. I haven't had a whole lot of time to sit down and post something.

As a mentioned in my last post, I was at the Franciscan University of Steubenville last week for LEAD and one of their annual youth conferences. It was truly an awesome week. I really learned a lot and made a lot of new friends, friends that I could call on when I am in need of any help.

As much as we learned about prayer and God, and the Church, the biggest thing I learned about was myself. See, we spent a lot of time in personal prayer with God, and we learned how to listen to Him. I realized that He knows me better than anyone else, and in that personal prayer time was when I learned all these things about me. God is like a loving parent in a lot of ways, one of those ways is that He likes to talk about us, His children, quite a bit.

I learned that silence isn't always awkward, but can be a blessing. I was able to see the identity that God had created me for, the person that He wants me to be.

I learned how to cast aside my old identity-the one built on sand-and embrace the new one-the one built on a rock-. I had been getting tired of the old identity. It was prideful, loud, and obnoxious. The new one is humble and reverent and very servant like. That is the man that God wants me to be, not the man that the world tells me that I need to be.

And my new family. Oh how I miss them! I'm referring to the other 40 people that I was there with, people whom I built relationships with that are closer and stronger than relationships I have with people Ive known all my life; even though we only knew each other for five days. This led to another realization of mine, that when a relationship is built on Christ, it grows stronger and stronger ten times faster than an average relationship. Look at it like this: when a house is built on rock, it is so sturdy that the construction time is cut in half. The builders don't have to worry about setbacks from an unstable foundation. One of my new brothers can attest to that, he builds houses for a living. He's really awesome. They all are really awesome.

As you can see, I like that whole built on rock/built on sand metaphor thing. It works!

Franciscan LEAD.

Well, in four hours, I leave for the Franciscan University of Steubenville. I was accepted to attend their LEAD (Leadership, Evangelization, And Discipleship) retreat held before each summer youth conference.

It will be a week full of workshops, daily Mass, Adoration/praise and worship, and making a bunch of knew friends. And then finally wrapped up with a MASSIVE youth conference.

Yea, I'm finding it very hard to sleep right now. Hahaha.

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The Love of Him.

"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord;
my spirit rejoices in God my savior."

If I had to sum up the ways that that I feel about my Faith; about The Church; about Christ, then this passage would be a perfect explanation. When I reflect on all that has happened to me in the past year, all the people I have met, all the experiences-both good and bad-,I know that His hand had a play in it all. I know that He was there for both the good and the bad.

The passion that has been awakened inside of me, a passion for something that is greater than any passion I have ever encountered, it..its almost unbearable. This passion, it "roars like a lion" in the depths of my heart. A lion that cannot be silenced by anyone, not even the "Hercules" that is doubt.

When there are moments of doubt or moments of spiritual chaos, I can "be still" and know that my God reigns. That He is the "Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end."

"My God is not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion."

God is the most powerful force in the universe.

There was a quote on the board in Health class today, written by a random kid during a study hall. It read:

Selfless love that expects nothing back... is the most powerful force in the universe.

 So that means that God is the most powerful force in the universe. His love is the most powerful force in the universe. He loves us through all of our sin. He lifts us out of our darkness, not because He has to, but because He wants to. Because He loves us.

I'd like to quote a song from the David Crowder Band:

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

 

And oh, how He loves us oh

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

--How He Loves.

Truly a wonderful song. Truly a wonderful God.

 

Affirmation in the Eucharist.

After I went to confession today, I was kneeling and praying before the Tabernacle. I was asking God to affirm my faith in Him and in The Church. I had what could be described as a vision, but was more like a dream that you have when you are slightly beginning to fall asleep. It was a vision of The Host in the Tabernacle, and the Holy Spirit, which looked like smoke, was falling apon it. Then, God spoke in my heart, He said "affirmation is in the Eucharist." I realized that the affirmation that I seeked was in Him, and in the love that He has for us. And in the most blessed sacrament.
The Mass that followed felt very much affirming. Father H. gave a wonderful homily that was like a defibrillation to my failing faith. I was alar serving and was the first person, other that Father H. himself to receive the Eucharist. Once I receieve Him, I felt a very strong feeling of peace, a feeling of belonging.

I took great comfort in the Gospel reading for this 5th Sunday in Easter.

"Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me."

 "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. "

And in John 14:8-12 I felt like I was Philip, who is my confirmation saint, and Jesus was giving me some very good advice:

8	Philip said to him, "Lord, show us the Father, and we shall be satisfied."
9	Jesus said to him, "Have I been with you so long, and yet you do not know me, Philip? He who has seen me has seen the Father; how can you say, `Show us the Father'?
10	Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority; but the Father who dwells in me does his works.
11	Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father in me; or else believe me for the sake of the works themselves.
12	"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I go to the Father.

 I had been seeking to see God, and He was there all along, I just hadn't realized it. Jesus had given me a little bit of constructive criticism. It was truly a memorable day.

Hand made wooden carvings, from The Holy Land!!

A couple weeks ago we had two guys who came from Michigan to sell some wooden, religious carvings at my parish. These carvings were hand carved by Christians in the Holy Land, then sent here to be sold to help and support them. The two guys, Kale and Essau, are immigrants from Jerusalem who volunteer their time to help their brethren. They are really nice guys.

                        Essau                  Kale

Talking to myself.

Yea, Its been a while since the last time I posted anything. Probably because it seems like nobody is reading my posts and I'm just kinda talking to myself. Oh well... hahahaha.

Lent was good, and I admit I hit a few bumpy spots, but I pushed through.

I found some really cool podcasts on iTunes. I cant remember any of them off the top of my head but I will post them later on.

And I found a really cool band: The City Harmonic. They are AWESOME!! Google 'em...Now! hahahaha.

Lent

Lent is coming up! Yay! hahahaha. I'm pumped.

Dc. M has giving me a task to concentrate on during lent.

"Since Lent begins next week, I want you put aside your concern for the next 8 years, and to focus only on the 40 days of Lent to prepare yourself through prayer, fasting, abstinence, and good works to bring you one step closer to God.  I want you to think of two objectives:  1. a “minimum” effort that you know you can do for 40 days that is not too easy, and not too hard.  2. a set of stretch goals that you want to do, but may be difficult to sustain for 40 days.  It’s OK to miss your stretch goals; think of them as “extra credit”.  But your “minimum” effort should be your “norm” that you must do for 40 days.  Please be realistic and consider all the other duties you normally would be required to do in addition to your “minimum” Lenten effort.

Let me know what you decide to do." 

I came up with some things but I'm going to wait and see what he says before I post them. 

Walk by Faith.

Sorry that there hasn't been any new post lately. I've been kinda lazy. Hahaha.

At this point I'm struggling with this whole "walk by Faith" thing that my Spiritual Director(Dc. M) and I conversed about over E-mail. Dc. M's words:

When the freshness of the experience wears off, then we must walk by faith.

Translation:  We sometimes experience awesome moments when God touches us in a profound way that empowers us to commit our lives to Him; but we become forgetful or discouraged when cares, worries, and realities of daily life cause us to stumble and lose heart.  It is in those darker moments when we must believe in the promises God has in store for us; we must remain steadfast in our prayers, and trust that God will guide us towards our true vocation and our true joy.  

If you have time, read the parable of the sower in Mk 4:3-20, Lk 8:5:15, and Mt 13:3-23.  Mark, Luke, and Matthew each have a slightly different version of the same story.  Luke 8:15 says “But as for the seed that fell on rich soil, they are the ones who, when they have heard the word, embrace it with a generous and good heart, and bear fruit through perseverance.” (NAB).  It’s worth noting the last word is “perseverance”.  To bear good fruit that will last, you must persevere, stick to it, stay the course, “walk by faith”.  Always remember that you are never alone on your journey; you have your guardian angel who will always assist you (IAW God’s will), your patron saints who will intercede on your behalf, the communion of saints who are praying for you, and the saintly examples from the past 2000 years of men and women who faced similar struggles and conquered them by embracing their crosses.

In Jn 14:12, Jesus says “Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes in me will do the works that I do, and will do greater ones than these, because I am going to the Father.”

 “… for the one (Jesus) who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” (1^st Jn 4:4).

Jesus will guide you if you trust in Him.

It is also important to seek out spiritual guides to help us along the way, as Jesus sent His disciples out “two by two”.

Spiritual Director. Pt. 2

Dc. M has accepted my request. It is a happy day.

I'm off on a trip to Vermont in a little bit, so there wont be any new posts until Sunday or Monday. :)

Spiritual Director.

Dc. M returned me E-mail about me dilemma. He offered some great advice: 

"Often, when we come down from our “mountain top” experiences with God, we are faced with our human realities that can cause us to experience doubt.

Don’t worry too much about your second thoughts.  God allows our faith to be tested when he is calling us to great things.  We must learn to master our thoughts and our passions and direct them to God, because your temptations and doubts will increase as you fulfill God’s call.

Just remember to pray the rosary every day, and consecrate yourself to Mary.  Place yourself under her care, just as Jesus entrusted himself to Mary and Joseph in the Holy Family.

Also, cultivate and strengthen your love for the Holy Eucharist, because Jesus in the Holy Eucharist will be your source of strength and inspiration, especially for priests.

Lastly, remember to be patient with God, and with yourself.  God knows your future and wants the best for you. He knows what you need, and when you need it.  Parts of your journey will feel slow, while other parts will fly by. St John Vianney, Patron Saint of Priests, had a long and difficult road to the priesthood. Dealing with doubts and temptations is part of your journey and a testing of your humble submission to God in all aspects of your life, wherever He leads you. To keep you heart pure along your journey, you should go to confession monthly.  You need God’s grace in this sacrament to see and hear God clearly."

In my response to him I officially asked him if he would be my spiritual director, as I do not have one yet. (Even though he has pretty much acted as one for me. hahaha) 

Well that's all for now. Maybe more tomorrow if I get a response from Fr. J.

And for some reason I cant get this back to the normal color and stuff. Oh well.

He pulled through!!

Well after posting that last post, I posted the "dilemma" as a new topic in the Vocations forum on Phatmass. I then prayed a rosary. I then prayed some more. I then went back on Phatmass, and saw all the things people had posted and they all truly helped me. I no longer have those doubts, and have materiel to refer to when I get those doubts. And I also found out that this is something that a LOT of people discerning deal with.

I put that material as a link: Lafayette Carmelites 

God is Good!!

Obstacles

Well, like all things in life, there are obstacles in my discernment. I feel that one of the biggest obstacles is figuring out exactly where God wants me. Though I think about this a lot, I feel that God will answer that question later on, when it is important.

But one HUGE obstacle I am trying to get by is whether God truly IS calling me. I get paranoid about different little things and what I think are signs. I sometimes don't know where to turn and since, I am so excited about priesthood, I get down whenever these thoughts enter my head. It could be I'm over thinking it, It could be Satan trying to mess me up, It could be anything. You guys are probably thinking, "pray, pray, and pray." Well I have been. Ugh. I think maybe I'll send Dc. M and Fr. J an e-mail about this. They could help.

It all started...

I was baptized as a baby and had always believed in God, but had never been very devout. It all started by my mom forcing me to take my confirmation. Through confirmation I got into Lifeteen and started to attend mass regularly. It all started then.

I first began to feel God's call to priesthood at a local youth rally put on by my diocese, I just hadn't figured it out yet. They had several "workshops" or classes about various things. There was one that was called vocations. It seemed the most interesting of all the other workshops. Giving the workshop were a few priest and brothers from the Brothers of The Sacred Heart, and a priest, who we'll call Fr. J, who is the vocations director for my diocese, and a few other priests and brothers, whom I cant really remember. They talked about priesthood and their various religious orders and then answered any questions we had. They were all really nice guys and one of them even kind of looked like Seth Rogan. hahaha. (The one who looked like Seth rocked out with us while Matt Maher performed later on in the day.) 

About a couple months went by before I truly felt God's call. We had a Lifeteen retreat at my parish and were doing Eucharistic Adoration. I wasn't really feeling anything so I decided to go up and get prayed over at the alter by our Deacon, whom we'll call Dc. M. This is when I noticed His call. When Dc. M finished praying over me, he asked me, "Is God calling you to Priesthood?". I was overcome with the Holy Spirit and burst into tears. Between sobs I was able to utter out a "yes". Dc. M said that he could sense it and that I should pray about it. He also said I have a lot of time to listen and that I shouldn't jump to conclusions to quickly.

Since that moment, which was around this time last year, I have given my life to Christ, I have been confirmed in my faith, I have built up my faith, grown in spirituality, and have felt God's love and witnessed his works in all aspects of my life.